Fast car? You just want to be loved

Clothes shopping. I have to admit I quite like it. I try to buy second hand or ethical, and the actual amount of New Stuff I can buy is severely restricted by the size of our flat. But I do enjoy it all the same. Who doesn't like the thrill of the new, and feeling like you've made an effort to scrub up?

Some would say I've fallen victim to the treadmill of consumer society that makes us want more, newer stuff all the time.

The theory goes we're all greedy, out for ourselves, trying to get one up on everyone else by decking ourselves out in better, newer rags and gorging ourselves on shallow pleasures.

But a book I've just finished reading, 'The Spirit Level' by Kate Pickett and Richard Wilkinson, has a different take on the role of shopping and consuming in our society. It says that far from being an indicator that humans naturally look out for themselves above others, shopping shows we just want to be loved.

We want the latest clothes or gadgets because we are sociable, cooperative animals who also have an innate ability to do what is best for, and with, others. We want to fit in, be a part of the action.

Come to think of it, how many of those shiny new technologies are actually about staying in touch with friends and family - being included in our own digital tribe?

What struck me most about Pickett and Wilkinson's book is that the tool we need to solve the planetary crisis - a willingness to work together to protect each other and to thrive - is embedded within our very nature. It's just that some societies, the most unequal, bring out the flip side of the human character, the side that says every man and woman is out for themselves. In that kind of culture, people are more willing to trample over others - and the planet - for what they want. But the happiest societies are those that value the cooperation and trust that is a natural by-product of greater equality.

So the next time you see someone in designer clothes or a fast car, think about how much they are simply saying they want to be loved. And how much better a place the world would be if we channelled some of that desire into creating a better future... as well as occasionally hitting the shops.

Kate Pickett is talking at our annual conference from 9 - 11 September 2011.

You can buy 'The Spirit Level' from the Book Depository.

Helen Dunk, Communications and Media Team