God bless Hooky Street: Energy companies and Del Boy tactics

Oliver Hayes

29 July 2011

What were you doing on 29 December 1996? Chances are you were among the 24.35 million people sat glued to their tellies for the final episode of Only Fools and Horses.

So like me, you'll have had a pretty good idea what MPs meant this week when they accused energy companies of using Del Boy tactics.

But I couldn't help feeling that, when it comes to energy companies, salt of the earth smalltime cockney wheeler dealing Trotter style isn't the half of it.

While Rodney and co flogged Russian army camcorders or sex dolls filled with explosive gas, these six mega-corporations control and exploit in a way that puts Del's dodgy deals to shame.

Here are a few examples. My own Big Six, if you like:

1) A 'free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't' approach
The first units of electricity are the most expensive - so poor households pay a premium for heating and cooking, while the Boycies of this world pay next to nothing for an outdoor jacuzzi to share with Marlene.

2) Spiraling prices
When one firm raises prices, the others seem quick to follow. But they're slower off the mark when the wholesale price of gas drops, seeming sluggish to pass on savings to their customers. Del Boy might have thought this was "cushty" but the industry regulator is getting worked up.

3) Monopoly games
99% of our energy comes from six big players, meaning smaller, greener providers have little room for manoeuvre.

4) Money for old rope
They get £1.3bn windfalls for doing nothing at all. Even Del had to pawn his antique watch to land a pay day like that.

5) Greenwash
Touting their green credentials - like having a Team Green Britain day - while ramping up commitment to fossil fuels.

6) Profit before people
This week we heard British Gas has made a half year profit of £1.3bn, but they still hike prices by 18% and do too little to protect the climate.

Do you have any gripes with the companies that supply our gas and electricity? Please email me if you do if you do.

Or come and find me in the Nags Head. I'll be the one in the camel skin coat, with a Reliant Robin parked outside.

Oliver Hayes, Parliamentary Team

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